Why I Started This Blog (And Why You Should Keep Reading)

I'm sitting at home with a cup of tea and a cat on my lap, starting a blog. I've never written a blog before, but I'm tired of my thoughts eating me up.

I started this blog because I'm sick of pretending that I have my life all figured out.

I wake up, do all my usual bits (brush my teeth, shower, wash my hair and get dressed), eat some breakfast, have some tea, feed the cat and act like I'm doing something with my life. The reality is, I'm a 27-year-old vet student living day to day.

Don't get me wrong I'm not depressed, or I wouldn't classify this as depression. It's more about trying to find self-worth while feeling completely lost with no sense of purpose. And all these thoughts just keep swirling around in my head with nowhere to go.

So here I am, with my Ipad, and a cat who can’t decide where he would like to lay and finally giving my thoughts somewhere to land.

My Non-Traditional Journey

As a mature 27 year old vet student, I've lived a rather non-traditional life. I spent my teens in Asia at a private school being told I wasn't smart enough, then got sent to a country where I didn't speak the language, then moved to the UK. I excelled in my studies, going from college to a degree with first-class honours, then an access course to finally getting into vet school after 2 attempts feeling like I had a sense of accomplishment…

… Only to be thrown to the ground again by failing my first year of vet school. I'm embarrassed and rather ashamed of that still.

But when you think about it, life has unexpected turns. Now I find myself with a wonderful man, wonderful friends, and feeling safe with a roof over my head. So why am I feeling so damn lost?

The Reality of Vet School

I'm a mature student surrounded by a range of academically achieving students - people older than me, people younger than me - and we all seem to have a mutual love-hate understanding of how tough this course can be. So why is it that all the challenges I face (and I love a good challenge) make me feel like this?

The truth is, when a degree works you so hard, that tends to become all you do. You are your degree. I didn’t believe it at first, but it’s true. All vet students can agree with me that all we do is study. Occasionally, we do sports or a hobby we’re passionate about.I love ice skating, horse riding, listening to music and going to musicals but life costs money. I admire people who work, do placement, and manage this course. Tell me, how do you juggle it? I seem to either work and struggle on the course, or not work and excel. I can't find an in-between. 

Why This Blog Exists

This blog is my way of self-reflecting on my life, my journey, and my goals. I want this to be read by everyone. Not just mature students, but potential vet students, students in general, and even parents. 

I think we all sit and wonder sometimes: Is it worth it? Is what we're doing going to be worth it? Some vets in practice will give you their opinion, but it doesn't always match our insecurities and anxiety. I suffer greatly from anxiety, and I'm here to tell you that you're not alone.

So if you're interested, you can read my blog and share the same passion as I do when it comes to finding your self-worth, the love for animals, while tackling that perfect student-work-life balance.